Thinking about the future

We are now an online studio.

So so much has happened since I last wrote a blog post that I’m not sure where to begin. So I will just start from whatever comes into my mind. 20 years from now I will look back on this time, this 2020 year, and evaluate my actions. And I want my actions to be impactful, liberating, genuine. But, honestly I’m feeling stuck, frozen, unsure and very sad. In looking back to March, when everything went completely upside down, I guess that is where this year really started…or ended? Or just took a 180.

In January, I finalized my plan to not renew our lease on the studio at 135 W 29th. As I write that address, I get a little sad…but ultimately my decision to close our physical space was guided by intuition and practicality. It still feels a little bit like failure, though. The rent and real estate tax was getting to be too much and I was giving half of my income to the landlord. So I packed everything up, sold most of our props to a wonderful yoga teacher/former customer, painted the walls white again and…said goodbye. I didn’t want to find another space; I started to look but my desire to keep a studio going wasn’t there.

Then the pandemic happened. I would not have survived 3+ months of no customers. I would not have had the rent to pay the landlord and the studio would have gone under. The pandemic was the final wrap-up when it came to the studio-it solidified the closure and supported my decision to close. Closing one door leaves room to open up another. I froze, though, before I started to transition the business online. I procrastinated, I thought long and hard about what I wanted the website to look like, I dealt with the shelter-in-place situation, I changed my normal. I had so much more time for action but also so much more time for thoughts, emotions and worry. So many people were going online with classes and meditation sessions so I felt like I was doing this along with others. I started our IGTV channel and led a few meditation sessions. I also kept up with my private meditation group and began leading online corporate meditation sessions. I just still wasn’t sure where I was going with TYC.

As the shelter-in-place progressed, I took action. I paid someone to redo our website, I finished our 3 mini courses, I finalized what I wanted our masterclass/mentorship to look like and I got our corporate meditation schedule up and running. I also have ideas that I want to build on but I still feel as if I’m stuck in the planning phase. I try to give myself credit for how far I’ve come but there always seem to be more to do.

The world is changing at such a high rate this year. We went from the pandemic to the outcry for justice to end the countless murders of black men and women. None of this is new. New York City went from being shut down to people protesting, peacefully walking the streets, holding vigils and coming together outside. It’s difficult to know where one fits in to all of this as a white business owner. How can I do better? How I be more diverse? How can I uplift the voices of black men and women and promote black-owned businesses? How I can collaborate and use my voice to be anti-racist? I realize I need to take a step back to think and create. Going inward always helps me to be clear.

As I begin to step back from social media and get back to writing, creating and meditating, I invite clarity for my mind, body and spirit. I will filter out the noise and stay true to myself. I hope to connect with all of you on this journey, during this time of the new normal. Our priorities may have shifted, we realize now what is important to us, the rug was pulled out from under us in March and now things that were certain, may not be so certain anymore. The only thing that is consistent in life is change. Life always changes; it’s important to be more comfortable with change because it can yield such positive results. Changing and letting go. Such is the circle of life.

I wish you all love and joy and stay tuned to our website and our newsletter for updates.

Love Nicole

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